Three Walks: A Triptych.

Disatisfied Hedonist

I rise and fall,
and each time I curse
my destination.
If it doesn't move
How do I know it's breathing?
Why can't it meet me half way?

Who is satisfied with
these trinkets?
and chasing clouds of elation,
digging into shards of persons
to sustain orgasm?
I may be moving
but I'm still on the road
and sick of the air out here


Disatisfied Legalist

I climb and sink,
and forever I curse
my pitiful flesh
always battling fatigue.
There's a top to the ladder
but the climbing makes me sweat.

My luminous codes of conduct are jewelry,
I am distinguished by denial
and from here I can see a landscape
of festering sinners;
eating their own destruction
and expelling filth upon filth.
But I, I, I have escaped.
I can still see them far below.


Justified, Enabled.

I walk, I stumble,
and each time I can stand
with just enough strength for the trial.
Although I am beaten and bruised
my appetites are not searching
for stimulation, comfort or status.

I have achieved nothing
by my own fortitude
save a realisation
that I can achieve nothing
by my own fortitude.
All change is mercy
built upon the self-sacrifice of someone
far more significant than me.


Written December 2010.

If you focus on sanctification without thinking of your justification you either become a self-righteous pharisee, or burnt-out. In other words, trying to change your actions without daily and humbly recognising your change in status made through the cross of Christ does not work.

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